September 2011 Archives

Flapjack Records has twerked and twanged:

FLAPD27:

Arco

"Filter Kutz EP"

A.   Feel The Beat

B.  This Like That

C.   Disco Love

D. Say Something

Flapjack Records welcomes Arco back into the kitchen with a sink full of dishes.  So let's get washin'.  After the dishes are done we can get to picking about the hot new "Filter Kutz EP".  If you are ever one for Czech Cuisine or Bohemian delight, then this EP will grow on you like a fungus.  This EP is celebrated just like mushrooms are at the Houby Day parade.

The first bit of funky fungi is a rare breed often found growing under the tiles of dance floors called "Feel The Beat".  Considering the place that it grows, you really can actually "Feel The Beat" under your feet on the dance floor.  It's a bit squishy, but when picked at the right time, can result in enormous flavor, and overwhelming booty busting on the dance floor.

Sometimes you get into a DJ booth where there is overwhelming evidence of moisture.  This is usually due to sloppy drunk ass DJ's and DJ groupies spilling drinks all over the place after a wild night in club.  These types of conditions are perfect for the "This Like That" type of fungus to flourish.  You will often find that if picked at the right moment you will get astonishing results, but if picked a bit too early or too late, you will probably just shit your pants.

"Disco Love" is a throwback to a time when it was acceptable to eat the mushrooms that grew under cow shit and get stupid in public.  This kind of behavior was actually celebrated.  Now it's illegal, but maybe not in the Czech Republic where mushrooms are a staple in the local diet alongside good times.  Either way if you are going to get naked, this is the jam to do it too.

The last bit of fungus among us is an aged to perfection, firm on the outside, but spongy on the inside shroom called "Say Something".  After a hunk of this morsel goes down your food tube you will definitely "Say Something".  You may find yourself saying something like "HOT DAMN!" or "Where's the fucking bathroom?"  Either way you will be saying it loud and clear.  You may also find yourself telling all your friend, relatives, and loved ones about this killer new "Filter Kutz EP" from Arco and how it has changed your life forever as well as your bowels.

This release is available now digitally exclusively at:

Traxsource | Jack Shack

Just when you thought that greasy delicious extra helping of biscuits n gravy was enough to make a movement, Flapjack Records busts into the breakfast mix with "Gut Bombs" by our bowel friendly funmaker Nate Laurence.  Nate Laurence of the famed duo Scrubfish n Laurence first appeared Flapjack Records back on FLAP003 with a snappin remix.  Since then Nate has gone off on his own cooking excursion to get a little greasier and dirtier up in the kitchen.  "Gut Bombs" is testament to his grits n gravy dance floor gut bombing new style.  Dig it, but stay close to a bathroom.

If your innards and dance floor are ready to rumble, then grab an earful of "Handjobs For The NRA".  This tune is full of bang with a relentless bass that will send you straight to the commode with a 5 alarm fire in your pants.  Grab your holster belt and fill it with extra toilet paper, and every time you hear that air raid siren, clench.

"Melktart Facemelt" tastes as good as the name sounds.  Just like those popular chocolates with candy coated shells it melts your face, not your hands.  Speaker freakers be warned of the extremely dope hip hop aspect to this grimey port-o-john jam.  Break dancers be breaking a brown one off in the porcelain pew when this one breaks down.  Ye be warned!

The third pile of steaming goodness "No Crapalous From Minneapolis", has a very nice shout to Chicago.  Nate must have been impressed with the bathrooms here in Chi-town during his many visits (to the crapper).  I would be too considering even the shittiest nightclub bathroom still has one of those dudes hovering ready to put soap on your hands and give you a piece of gum for a crappy tip.  This slice really takes you back to the eighties with its upbeat guitar rhythms and undeniably catchy vocal.

The last roll of double ply, " No Crapalous From Minneapolis (Emil Lanne Remix)", takes a cleaner approach to this aural mischief.  One listen to this jam and you can tell that Emil must have been potty trained at an early age and probably has a baday in his water closet.  The production is clean as a whistle and is like having a shower after a really bad crap.  The beats are creamy and bass line is soothing to that nasty dance floor indigestion.  It is a perfect way to clean up such a nasty good EP.  Make sure you read the warnings on the label and consult your physician before dropping "Gut Bombs" on a dance floor near you.  Be prepared to watch an explosion happen on the dance floor.  Hazmat suit may be required.