February 2012 Archives

Flapjack Records is greased and ready for:

FLAP017:
Jackin' Box - "Cow Tippin EP"

A1. Back Up Your Groove Thing
A2. I Like It
B1. How Good
B2. Jack Yo Ass Up

Returning to Flapjack Records vinyl department after a 10 release difference are those lovely UK chaps Jackin' Box.  To celebrate their return, they present us with the time honored traditional fun filled experience of the "Cow Tippin EP".  I used to think this may have only been an American past time, but apparently this is an international phenomena.  Not only do we love to eat cows, but we like to fuck with them for fun, by pushing them over while helplessly asleep standing up in a field.  What a total dick move, but is as equal in fun as it is in douche baggery.  So Flapjack commends these boys and the fine jams that have inspired such mindless fun.

If you are big fan of a huge pile grade A angus beef chops, then "Back Up Your Groove Thing" is the fatty patty for you.  This is an all out jam thick with greasy funk.  The slap bass and vocal groove are so good that it raises your cholesterol just hearing the hook.  Watch your phat calorie intake when the synth lead busts.  That shit will not only make paper plates completely transparent, but clean your bass bowels like a colonoscopy on the dance floor.

"I Like It" is exactly what you are going to be saying about this wagyu beef slab.  Thick and juicy all up in the speakers, and it sounds so good it makes your mouth water.  It must be all that massaging these steers get before the dancehall slaughter.  The cut renders like a massage for soul belly.  You will like the taste, but absolutely love the mesmerizing sound.

Being in the land of fat America, I can't help but think "How Good" burgers are.  They are just so damn meaty and tasty delicious just like this next cut.  This is by far one of the best dance floor searing sizzlers Jackin' Box has cooked up in a while.  This cut just smokes the platter every time.  "How Good" is so damn good that you gain weight just by listening to it.

The last pound of ground chuck funk is a swing blaster called "Jack Yo Ass Up".  Keeping with the times, this joint incorporates fresh flavor with time honored swing house traditions creating an overwhelming sensation of "get yo ass up n dance".  Don't worry about the fat and oil content because all you need to know is that it will come out just as wonderfully as it came in.  It's the circle of trust.  You can definitely trust Jackin' Box to really bring it on this new "Cow Tippin EP".  The bring it, tip it over, and then run like fat chicks after new years from the cops!

This 12" vinyl release is now available at the following locations:

Downtown 304 | Juno | Gramaphone

This release is now available digitally at the following locations:

Traxsource | Stompy | Beatport | Juno | Jack Shack

Flapjack Records gets more than its fill of:

FLAPD29:

Flapjack Records Presents

"The Roadside Diner Collection"

    A.   Michael R Jr. - You Can't Hide

    B.  Richard Loughlin - This Party

    C.   JD Mals - Little Pixy

    D.  Zurlock - Iazzz

Flapjack Records has definitely been around the block and back when it comes to upsetting stomachs and dance floors for that matter.  This next addition to the Flapjack digital catalog is a super phat grease stain of a compilation.  This EP is the kind of musical stain that will never come out and is a tribute to all the greasy spoon diner meals that many DJ's have had to endure whilst on the road.  Flapjack is proud to present "The Roadside Diner Collection".  Ironically, none of the artists on this EP are from the U.S., so I don't think they even know of the tummy rumbling wonders of this American roadside tradition.

You Can't Hide from this track.  This is a play on the many time over sampled traditional eggs n bacon on toast with black coffee special that is a timeless classic at all roadside diners.  The great thing is this was cooked up by a rookie 17 year old short order cook from Poland named Michael R Jr.  Trained in the musical fruits on the 1's n 2's by his father, he sets his sights on the underground with a gut wrenching vengeance.

Richard Loughlin of Manchester, UK has been bussing tables at this grease spot for over 15 years now.  It's about time he crunched out "This Party" between cleaning the urine puke stained booth in Bessie's section, and the four fat ass truckers 3 foot high dish pile from this morning.  The tune really slams the dishes good making everyone in the place lift their heads from their coffee and morning paper.

Over here we have our new waiter JD Mals working a double shift.  He has been pushing the fish and his joint "Little Pixy" as it is about to turn.  This is an updated swing number that pushes the envelope of drinking the milk well past the expiration date on the carton.  It's as solid as the skillet pan in the kitchen and just as hot too.

On your way out, don't forget to tip and then chat up the host Zurlock for some complimentary Andes candies.  His English is a little hard to understand being that he is fresh off the boat from Genova, but he knows how to seat people according to the rotation.  Also have  a grab at his funked up jazz jam "Iazzz" sitting on the newsstand.  It is sure to be a captivating read, and be sure to check the local want ads in the back.  You will definitely find a way to get rid of that old toaster oven and get you a couple bucks.   Thanks for stopping by and I hope y'all enjoyed you some of "The Roadside Diner Collection".

This release is available digitally now exclusively at the following locations:

Stompy | Traxsource | Beatport | Juno | Jack Shack

Flapjack Records has been well preserved for:

FLAP018:
That Peruvian Boy - "I Came To Jam EP"

A1. Don't You Know
A2. Love We Feel
B1. The Jive
B2. Gangsta Slam

The bowels of Flapjack Records are very excited and relieved to push That Peruvian Boy out onto some vinyl.  What a relief!  This new EP is so phat that we thought it might have required a trip to the hospital.  There is no enema strong enough to work this hot piece out.  This would require some dance floor surgery.  "I Cam To Jam EP" is like the signature dish of Peru and works like magic on the dance floor as well as your taste buds.  Here are the simple ingredients that make such an explosive experience:

The main squeeze is a carefully stir fired and flambed "Don't You Know".  This is the filet mignon of EP that is succulent, fat, and juicy in all respects.  The beats are hoppin, the bass is deep, and the hook is something you want to sink your teeth into over and over again.  The tune is so pleasing to the ear buds that it will make even the sternest of vegans want to bite.

Next thing you need to do is toss in some "Love We Feel" for some intense flavor.  Sautee these in the mix for that added muster of groove.  This is the ingredient that makes the leap from a good mix to a great dish.  Don't be sparing with this tune either.  Plenty of this will add flavor like a calculator in math class.

"The Jive" is like that miracle vegetable that makes the base for everything.  It's the tune you will want in every mix for the next year.  Once you are familiar with this ingredient, without it, your mix, your dish, and your life in general won't feel as complete.  It's the difference between whether you brush your teeth before bed.  You either wake up fresh or you don't.  Your mix will end up the same way, so just be smart and practice good hygiene.

The last ingredient is the sugar and spice of the dish.  "Gangsta Slam" really turns out this EP and makes this signature dish amazing.  This tune is no garnish.  Even though it is the last tune on the EP, it will most likely end up as the first tune in many mixes.  The vocal hook and break down push this track to the brink or your taste buds.  It's got that flavor that is just as amazing as the first time you taste, every single time.  It's the added spice that completes That Peruvian Boy's masterpiece and first vinyl release "I Came To Jam EP".

This 12" Vinyl release is available now at the following locations:

Downtown 304 | Gramaphone | Juno

This release is now available digitally at the following locations:

Traxsource | Jack Shack